No Apologies (Bomar Boys Book 2) Page 15
Trust. Acceptance. Even love.
No. He couldn’t have this be about that. Sex with Skylar would break all of his rules. It would probably ruin him forever. But he had to keep it simple, sex was all he had to offer her in return.
He took control of the kiss, fastening his lips to hers and sucking on her tongue. Skylar moaned and he slid his leg between hers. Her moan turned to a gasp as he plundered her mouth and pressed his thigh against the vee of her legs. She instantly arched her hips, riding his jeans clad thigh and he cursed the layers of clothes still in his way.
Colt broke the kiss, “Take it off or I’ll rip it off.”
“I… what?”
If he wasn’t already on edge he might have smiled at the dazed expression on her face, “The dress, Skylar. Take it off before I rip it off.”
She shivered and bit into her lip but when she made no move to remove the offending article of clothing, he was the one that groaned. Damn, how had he not seen this coming? She wanted him to rip it off. She wanted to drive him so crazy he lost control. That was why she’d worn it in the first place.
He stroked a finger across her jaw and tilted her head back so she was forced to meet his gaze, “You want me to be rough with you angel?”
“I want you.”
She nipped at his finger when he traced her bottom lip and he growled and slammed his mouth to hers again. He’d already lost control. Even still, he tempered his touch, refused to risk leaving a single mark on her precious skin.
He wouldn’t hurt her. It was a promise he’d made himself a long time ago. Not her. If she wanted him out of control, he could give her that because she’d officially, finally, driven him past the point of no return, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t, hurt her. She was too important and he couldn’t risk hurting her.
He broke the kiss with a nip of her lips, “Times up.”
With one hard jerk on the material, the tiny straps that had been clinging precariously to her shoulders snapped. She gasped softly and he smirked as one more tug had the skimpy white dress pooling at her feet. It had been as easy to remove as he’d thought it would be and just as he’d suspected, she wasn’t wearing a bra.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
He reverently traced the scar on her chest, the one from her heart surgery. He hated the idea of her being in pain. Hated that she’d been sick, been hurt. Hated knowing that if she handed him this part of her that he would break it all over again and he had no way of stopping it.
“Colt…”
He hated the sudden question in her voice almost as much as he hated that he didn’t have any answers for her. He couldn’t tell her that it was all for her own good. Couldn’t tell her that pushing her away was meant to protect her, not when he was standing here pulling her closer.
So instead, he only pushed forward, palming her breasts so she arched into his touch. So perfect. So responsive. Her perky little mounds were soft beneath his rough hands and her nipples were hard. She gasped his name when he rolled them between his thumbs and forefingers and when he pinched slightly she cried out.
“Please.”
“Already begging me for more.” He leaned down and traced a stiff peak with his tongue and then blew cool air over the spot, “You like that, don’t you?”
“Colt!”
He loved hearing his name from that luscious mouth of hers. Almost as much as he loved the way she responded to him. He latched his mouth to her breast, sucking hard, and she only arched to press even more of her supple flesh into his mouth. He licked and sucked and nipped at her with his teeth and then he switched sides and repeated his torture on her other breast. By the time he pulled back to see her smooth skin rubbed red from his five o’clock shadow she was squirming and pleading with him for more.
“Look at me.” He ordered roughly when he realized her eyes were closed again.
Hazy, blue orbs met his after a few fluttering seconds and her lips parted on a whimper, “Colt?”
“I’m dyin’ to taste you so I’m gonna lick you until you come all over my tongue.” He dropped to his knees even as he kept eye contact, “After that, I’m going to fuck you and you’re going to come again on my cock while I’m buried deep inside you. Understand?”
That earned him another whimper and a quick nod. He had a sudden need to tell her everything he was feeling, everything he wanted to do to her. He knew he was known for being one of the more talkative Bomars but that had never been the case in bed. Sex had never been about anything but getting himself off before so he hadn’t bothered with words, sweet or dirty, but with Skylar he couldn’t seem to help himself.
He needed this, with her, and he needed her to need it too.
As he stared at her beautiful naked body he had to fight the word that wanted to escape his throat. Mine. He wanted to claim her and his only consolation was that in at least one way he already had. Her beautiful skin was covered with the dark swirling lines and colors that he had put there. He’d marked her body in a permanent and undeniable way, even if he couldn’t truly claim her.
He kissed a line down the smooth plane of her stomach and then against the small bow at the top of her white lace panties, “When you came into the shop earlier and flashed these, I wanted to slide my hand higher and find out if they were wet for me.”
Skylar’s hips jolted forward, “Find out now.”
“Mmm, I know they’re wet now, angel.” He held her hips between his hands and licked the seam, “I can see your desire soaking them. I want to know if they were wet earlier. Did you get wet when it was just my hands and the needle on you?”
When she was silent, he stopped licking at her through the lace of her panties and looked up. She was watching him with those big, blue eyes again. She didn’t look away when he licked his lips. She only swallowed hard and nodded.
“And all those other times when I inked you?”
“Ev-every time.”
“You’re so fucking perfect.”
He looped his thumbs in her panties and dragged them down. The sight of her standing there, completely naked, completely open to him, had him losing his tenuous grip on his control. He nudged her legs wider and buried his face against her mound.
“Colt!”
He was too far gone to slow down or take it easy on her when she cried out. He used his mouth and tongue to part her folds and easily found her swollen clit. It was already throbbing and when he licked over it, Skylar’s hips punched forward. He had to use a firm hand to hold her still. He drank her down, couldn’t stop licking and lapping at her even as he felt her body stiffen and heard her pleas turn desperate.
“Oh. God. Please. Please, Colt. Please.”
When she whimpered and dragged her nails over his shoulders he growled and only pressed harder. He needed to feel her release as badly as she did. He plundered her without mercy and felt her fingers dig into his hair, tug on him so hard that it stung his every nerve ending. But she wasn’t trying to pull him away, he realized. She was holding him to her as her hips flexed up to take every lap of his torturous tongue.
And then she was coming with a violent shudder. She screamed his name as spasms wracked her body and he held her up. He stayed there, gentling his assault as he eased her through the orgasm. He sipped at the proof of her climax until her knees buckled and then he was up and moving again because there was no way, absolutely none, that he would ever let her fall.
“Colt. Oh, God, Colt.” She whispered as he rose to his feet and wrapped her in his arms.
He didn’t have the words to tell her how incredible that had been for him too. To tell her how many times he’d dreamed of touching her like this, having her like this. He didn’t trust himself to say anything for fear he would say everything so instead of voicing all of the things he shouldn’t, he simply kissed her again.
Skylar shuddered in his arms but didn’t recoil from her own taste on his lips. She licked at his mouth and delved in to twine her tongue with his when he opened. It was a dee
p, intoxicating kiss that threatened to drown him not just in the things he didn’t say but in the things she didn’t either.
When he felt her small hand slip down his chest and then tug at the button on his jeans, he broke the kiss. She was fumbling to undo his pants but he knocked her hands away. She either didn’t get the message or didn’t care and when she went right back to trying to unzip him he grabbed her wrists and pinned them beside her head.
“No.”
“I want to taste you too.”
Her whispered statement made his cock twitch with excitement but he beat down the urge to let her do just that, “No.”
“But…”
“Just thinking about you wrapping that sexy mouth around my cock is enough to make me come at this point.” He kissed her firmly and then pulled back, “But as much as I want that I want to be buried deep inside your beautiful body more.”
She opened her mouth and since he knew Skylar, he knew that she probably intended to argue with him some more. She wanted something and she was the type of woman that was used to getting what she wanted. But he wasn’t bending on this so he didn’t give her the chance to change his mind.
He swept her up into his arms and kissed her again. When she broke the kiss to look down at him he felt that now familiar pain in his chest sear him again. He swallowed hard but she didn’t say a word. She just smiled softly and then peppered him with kisses across his cheek and jaw as he carried her to her bedroom.
“You’re still fully dressed and I’m naked.” She whispered in his ear and then nipped him with her teeth, “If I can’t suck you, I at least want to see you.”
“You will.” He promised as he kicked the door shut behind them and then lowered her to her bed.
After one more invasive kiss, because he couldn’t seem to stop kissing her now that he’d started, he forced himself to release her and step back. He jerked his t-shirt over his head and dropped it to the ground. Her warm gaze stroked over him and he smiled when he remembered her saying she dreamed about him shirtless.
“Like what you see?” He teased as she bit into her lip and watched him intensely.
“You know I do.” Her gaze dropped to his pants when he unbuttoned them.
He quickly kicked off his shoes and socks. His hands shook slightly as he unzipped and pushed his jeans and boxers down his legs and he hoped she didn’t notice. He kicked out of the last of his clothes and heard her quick intake of air.
He knew he was built. It was a fortunate side effect of all the fighting he’d done in his life. Whenever he was feeling edgy and out of sorts, he burned off the restless energy by working out. Add in the God-given good looks that his entire family seemed to be born with and he knew he looked good.
Plenty of women had looked at him like he was a piece of meat over the years. He was used to the look, could spot it a mile away, but that wasn’t how Skylar looked at him. She saw more than just his packaging. She saw him. She always had. That was what made her so special.
“God, you’re gorgeous.” Skylar’s eyes roamed over him hungrily and his dick twitched like she was caressing him, “And you really are pierced. Jesus, Colt, you’re every fantasy I’ve ever had.”
She licked her lips and he groaned, “Goddamnit, if you keep looking at me like that I’m gonna go off before you ever even touch me.”
She smirked like she knew exactly what kind of effect she had on him and hell, she probably did. It wasn’t as if he’d hidden it very well even before he broke down and kissed her today. And within hours of that mistake, here he was again, tracking her down and stripping her naked and telling her how long he’d dreamed of having her.
“Wouldn’t want that.” She curved a finger at him and he growled.
“Little tease.” He paused to pull a condom out of his wallet and then dropped it to the bed as he moved towards her, “I’ve wanted you for so long, there’s no way I’m going off before I get inside you. If I only get you for tonight, we’re doing this right.”
Her eyes flickered away for the first time and he instantly regretted the words. He knew the reminder that this was only for tonight would hurt her. But they both needed to remember that so when her gaze dropped he tilted her chin up with a finger and forced her to look at him again.
“I wish I could give you more. You deserve so much more. You deserve better than me. You know that right?”
She didn’t agree. He could see it in her eyes. But she didn’t argue with him either. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up to brush her lips against his.
“I’ll take you however I can get you, Colt.”
His throat felt tight with unspoken emotions again so he kissed her as he covered her body with his. He licked at her lips and she opened for him on a sigh. Their tongues stroked, twisted and probed until their bodies were rocking together, trying to find the rhythm they needed. When Skylar slid her hand down his body and closed her fist around his cock he jerked back with a strangled groan.
“Fuck.”
“Yes.” She arched up as she stroked him, “I need to feel you inside me.”
“I need to feel that too.” He snatched the condom up from where he’d dropped it and tore it open with his teeth, “I want you too bad to go slow.”
“I don’t want slow.” Skylar kissed his jaw as he rolled the condom on. “I just want you.”
“I want you too. So much.” He kissed her as he lined their bodies up and then pulled back to meet her gaze, “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
They stared into each other’s eyes as he snapped his hips forward and buried himself inside her in one thrust. Skylar’s lashes fluttered but she didn’t shut her eyes. She cried out. Her hands scrambled for a hold on his shoulders and her nails scratched him as she gripped him tight.
He groaned as he tried to regain control and not immediately pull back and slam inside her again. He’d known that it would be like this between them. Perfect. She just fit him in every way. Hot and wet and tight, her body surrounded him and he felt the oddest sensation that for the first time in his life he was right where he was supposed to be.
“Colt, please…” Skylar shifted her hips beneath him and moaned when his piercing rubbed her clit.
“What do you want, angel? Tell me and its yours.”
“You. I want you.”
That answer had him biting his tongue to keep from admitting that she already had him. She always had. She always would. She was it for him. He’d known that for months, yeas maybe, but now, buried inside her body, he knew that he’d never experienced anything like this connection to Skylar with anyone else and he never would. But since he couldn’t have her, couldn’t keep her, he didn’t say a word.
Instead he only pulled almost entirely out of her body and then plunged back in. Skylar gasped and her nails dug into his shoulders again. The pain jolted down his spine and he growled as he began to move inside her. He grabbed her wrists, dragging them over her head and pinning her beneath him but the restraint only turned her on more because her body squeezed his and pleas for him to take her harder fell from her lips.
So he did. He pounded into her again and again and again. He couldn’t get deep enough. He couldn’t join them enough. The latex barrier kept them apart and after plowing through all of the other restraints he’d put on their relationship it felt all wrong to have anything between them in this moment.
Sweat broke out all over his skin as he fought off his climax. He wasn’t ready yet. He hadn’t had enough of her yet. He would never get enough of her. But that didn’t change the fact that he could only give her this one night.
“Skylar, look at me.”
Her lashes fluttered as she opened her eyes and he nearly collapsed at the pure, unrestrained emotions there. He shouldn’t have needed to see it. He shouldn’t want to hear her say the words that he couldn’t even bring himself to think. But he did want it, he wanted all of her, and the only thing that stopped him from asking her to tell him was the knowledg
e that it would hurt her worse when he walked away if she’d admitted it aloud.
He laced their fingers together and she squeezed in response. Instead of a restraint, their hands intertwined as one. They held onto each other. Both giving and taking in that shared moment.
That pain in his chest ached but instead of giving voice to it he simply leaned down and kissed her again. Soft and slow and deep, he tried to convey everything he couldn’t say with his kiss. As their bodies collided hard and fast, as he fucked her, he made love to her mouth until they were both pulling away to gasp for air.
“Look at me angel.” He rasped when he felt her body begin to constrict around him, “I want to watch you as you come for me. I want to see it. Give it to me.”
“Oh, God, Colt…” Skylar cried out as her back arched off the mattress and her climax ripped through her.
He groaned as he felt every pulse of her body and his own responded in kind. His hips jerked as his release shuddered out of him. And the only thing that could have made it better in that moment would have been knowing that he was filling her, marking her in a way that nobody could ever take away from him.
He hadn’t understood it when he overheard Cash and Jemma talking about not using protection. Not wanting anything between them. Talking about making a baby. But he understood it now, with Skylar, because he felt some deep, caveman part of him scream that if they made a life together, a child together, that nobody would ever be able to take her from him.
But he shook off that insane level of need because he wasn’t Cash. He was in no position to start a family and he couldn’t ask Skylar to tie herself to him when he had nothing to offer her. He had to get clean first, free of the family business, away from all the fighting and threats and danger. That was the only way he could ever hope to be good enough for her.
Skylar moaned beneath him as her orgasm ebbed and he planted kisses across her jaw and down her neck. When he reached the soft spot where her neck and shoulder connected, he latched his mouth to the sensitive skin and suckled. She whimpered but didn’t pull away, only wrapped her arms around him and bucked her hips into him one last time as he released the love bite and then laved his tongue over it.