No Fear (Bomar Boys Book 3) Read online

He instantly released her, “What?”

  Fear slithered through his veins and rejection made him step back. He’d told her the first time he kissed her that if he ever did anything that scared her, anything that went too far, all she had to say was stop. She hadn’t, not once, not when they were kissing or touching or when she was coming apart in his arms. But he’d told her he loved her and…

  “No. Don’t.” Rachel grabbed his biceps keeping him from retreating further, “I didn’t mean stop, stop. I just meant…” Her cheeks flushed and she smiled softly, “We’re going to be late to the wedding if we… we have to stop.”

  “Oh…” He let her draw him close again as relief made him sag against her, “Yeah, the wedding. I forgot about that for a second there.”

  Rachel giggled lightly, “You forgot your brother is getting married tonight?”

  “I forget the rest of the world exists when I look at you, Rach.” He brushed her hair back softly and kissed her temple.

  “Remy…” Her voice was barely a whisper, “About what you said…”

  He sighed when she trailed off nervously, “I love you. I love you so much it scares the hell out of me and I swore I was going to wait, give you time to get comfortable because I know it’s fast but… I can’t watch my brother pledge his life and love to Jemma tonight and not admit that’s exactly what I want with you. I want us to have everything together, Rach. I love you.”

  “I…”

  “No.” He cut her off with a press of his lips against hers, “Don’t say it now. Don’t say it back to me just because I said it. You say it when you’re ready and not a moment before and I’ll be here, waiting… no matter how long that takes.”

  “But…”

  “I love you Rachel.” He kissed her again quickly, relief spreading through his tense muscles as the admission settled the worst of the nerves he’d been feeling for weeks. He’d kept it tied up inside of him, thought he needed to keep those precious words to himself, but he didn’t. He’d told her and he already felt more at ease about them. She would say it because she felt the same way. He knew she did. But it wouldn’t be right now and it wouldn’t be because he’d said it first. “I’m gonna hop in the shower and then we can go. I won’t be long.”

  He pulled away from her, unable to look down at her beautiful upturned face or the wonder in her eyes and not kiss her again. He turned and headed for the shower without bothering to grab clothes for when he got out. He couldn’t stay in the bedroom with her a moment longer and not touch her, not kiss her and tempt her to say the words he wanted to hear so he could lay her down in their bed and claim her once and for all. So he walked away to take a cold shower and knew he’d likely need another by the time this night was over.

  Because watching his little brother pledge himself to Jemma was going to be emotional for them all. Adding Jemma to the family, officially, was a long time coming and way past overdue. It should have happened ages ago but it had taken a second chance for Cash to get his forever with the woman he loved and Remy knew that watching them become husband and wife would be one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.

  But having Rachel at his side tonight made it all perfect. Holding her hand. Touching her. Dancing with her. Sharing his family with her and her with them, it was everything that he’d always been missing in his life. A place to call home.

  “Remy?”

  He paused in the doorway and turned back, worried that Rachel was going to say something that would be impossible to ignore, “Yeah?”

  Her eyes were bright and if he wasn’t mistaken, a little bit damp. He wanted to rush to her and ask her what was wrong but from the smile painting her full lips he knew that wasn’t what had brought on the tears. Nothing was wrong. Not with them being together. And maybe that was just as miraculous for her as it was for him.

  “Just… hurry.” She finally smirked, “I don’t want to miss a second of this night.”

  He returned her smile with a wink and then hurried to the bathroom and shut the door. He had a feeling tonight was going to be one of the best nights of his life. Not just because Cash was marrying Jemma, finally, and Colt and Skylar would be at their sides to share it with them. But because he was a part of it and he’d never thought he would get that chance until he came back to Old Settlers.

  He’d finally come home and for the first time since that day he stormed back into town on a mission, it finally felt like home too.

  “Jesus…”

  Remy watched from across the room as Rachel tilted her head back and laughed at something the other girls said. That pain in his chest had been growing all night and was now a solid, heavy weight he knew he would carry for the rest of his life. It wasn’t a burden. It was gift. And it was all because of the beautiful girl with the dark hair and stormy eyes that chose that moment to glance his way and smile.

  Sitting through the wedding with Rachel at his side had been just as overwhelming as he’d expected it to be.

  He’d watched as Cash stood at the altar, clearly nervous but smiling and he’d known even before the crowd began to stand and turn that Jemma had entered the room by the sheer joy that overtook his little brothers face. The small crowd had been mostly family and friends and they’d laughed when Cash stormed up the aisle instead of waiting for Jemma to come to him. He’d swept his girl off her feet and carried her back to the altar, only depositing her back on the ground after a long, deep kiss.

  Rachel had taken his hand in hers, linking their fingers and squeezed. She’d smiled up at him when he looked down at her and he hadn’t been able to stop himself from kissing her. Her cheeks had been flushed when he pulled back and though he’d wanted nothing more than to pull her into his lap, he’d let her take her seat as the wedding got underway.

  When Cash promised to love, honor and cherish Jemma until he took his last breath, to always put her and their children first, to be honest and faithful, to be eternally hers, he’d felt Rachel squeeze his hand again and he’d squeezed back. When Jemma promised to love, honor and cherish Cash until she took her last breath, to always put him and their children first, to be honest and faithful, and be eternally his, Rachel had sniffled and he’d caught her wiping at her cheeks.

  It was then, right then, in that moment, that he’d known somebody soon he would convince this girl to exchange vows like that with him. He wanted her tied to him in every way. He wanted to see her in one of those big, fancy white dresses, her hair twisted up and her makeup mussed by tears and his kiss. He wanted to see her belly swollen with his child, something he’d never thought he would want, something he had no idea if she would want, but that he knew they would talk about and decide together.

  Because even though she hadn’t said the words yet, the way she’d looked at him when the happy couple was pronounced husband and wife, had told him that she wanted all those things with him too.

  “They look good together, huh?”

  He glanced up to see Colt smirk at him as he slid the empty chair at Remy’s side around and sank into it backwards. Movement on his other side caught his attention and he snorted as Cash winked and did the exact same thing. Sometimes, the twins were kind of creepy with the way they even moved alike. He smiled at them but his eyes automatically drifted back to the group of women dancing together to some ridiculous song from the eighties about balloons or something.

  He realized it was the first time all night he’d seen Jemma or Skylar without their significant other attached to their side so he wasn’t surprised his brothers were crowding him now. They never left the girls for long but from here they could watch just as he was watching Rachel. And the three of them together really were a sight to behold.

  The curvy redhead in white, holding her slightly swollen belly but swaying and laughing as she yelled something over the music to her friends. The tall, willowy blonde in a little black dress that left nothing but tan skin and tattoos on display swaying her ass in a provocative way clearly intended to get her in trouble from t
he way she bit her lip and looked over her shoulder at his brother. And right in the middle of them, the center of attention, as bold and outgoing as he’d ever seen her, his pretty little brunette bopping her head and dancing right along with her best friends as they happily sang loudly to the music.

  “Yeah, they do.”

  “It’s because they’re ours.” Cash gave a sigh that could be considered nothing but contentment, “I’m glad they’re all friends.”

  “Family.” Colt shook his head, “They’re all family, our family.”

  Remy swallowed hard, “Yeah.”

  “You gonna make an honest woman out of Sky?” Cash grinned at his twin and Colt flipped him off.

  “Better question is when she’s gonna make an honest man out of me.”

  “Touché.” Cash nudged his shoulder into his older brother, “What about you? How are things going with Rachel? You two seem…”

  “Happy.” He finished with a shrug when his brothers exchanged a look across him, “We’re good, still figuring things out, but we’re happy. She makes me happy.”

  “She looks pretty happy from where I’m sitting too, bro.” Colt chucked him in the arm, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her quite like this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s not hiding in the corner, pretending she’s invisible. She’s out there, having fun, and Sky didn’t have to drag her out tonight. Being with you, she seems to finally be coming out of her shell so whatever it is you’re doing… keep doing it. Happy looks good on both of you.”

  Remy felt the smile curl at his lips as he watched Rachel and Skylar spin around each other. Colt was right. She never would have been on that dance floor two months ago or even two weeks ago. Before they’d gotten together, she’d hidden her light in the shadows, too afraid of being seen by the wrong people. But she didn’t hide with him and that was extending past just the two of them into the rest of her relationships now.

  It was beautiful to see. It was even more beautiful to know he had a hand in it. He was helping her see who she really was, who she could be. She was a gorgeous, lively, intelligent and sexy as hell woman and she deserved to be seen. She deserved to shine. And he was only lucky that she’d let him get close enough that her light erased his shadows too.

  “I told her I love her tonight.”

  “Woah.” Cash grinned.

  Colt chuckled, “Good for you. I know you told me that you did but it feels better to tell the woman you love right? Feels better when you hear her say it back.”

  “She didn’t say it back.”

  He almost laughed at the way both of his brothers’ heads whipped to face him at that. So far, none of them had been able to tear their eyes off their women. Despite their conversation, their attention had remained on the three girls on the dance floor. But now he had their undivided attention.

  “Wow, I’m sorry bro. I really thought she…” Cash trailed off, a deep line etching itself between his eyebrows.

  “I told her not to say it.” Remy cut him off, hating to worry him on his wedding day, but the line only deepened.

  “What? Why?”

  “I didn’t want her to say it just because I did. I want her to take her time and say it when she’s ready, when she means it, because when she does, I don’t intend to ever let her take it back.” He cleared his throat when he saw the twins exchange another look, “She’s mine. She knows she’s mine. But there’s something going on with her, something she hasn’t decided to trust me with, and until she does I don’t want to push her.”

  Colt frowned now too, “Her brother?”

  Remy nodded.

  “Any news on that front?” Cash sighed as he glanced around the reception hall, “I know Lincoln wanted to talk to her, talk to you about her, but I haven’t seen him. Did he not show up?”

  “No. He text earlier and said something important came up. He’ll be back tomorrow. I told him to come by the trailer and we can talk then.”

  “If you want us to be there…” Cash started but Remy held up a hand.

  “You just got married. It’s your wedding night. You and Jemma need to be alone and enjoy your honeymoon. Don’t even think about showing up at the trailer tomorrow.” Remy frowned when his brothers started to argue, “That goes for both of you. I got you out. You’re out. Whatever Link thinks is going on with Rachel’s brother… I’ll handle it.”

  “I don’t like it.”

  “You don’t have to like it but you do have to let me deal with this myself, however I see fit. This isn’t about you. It’s about Rachel and she’s mine so I’ll protect her and if it comes to it, I’ll ask you for help the same way you asked me when Jemma needed it.”

  His brothers were silent for a long moment as they all three sat there, watching the girls dance to their silly song. For the first time in a long time, he knew exactly what the twins were thinking. They’d been able to do that when they were kids. Read each other’s minds. Not just Cash and Colt but him too. And right now he knew that they were thinking the same thing he was.

  Whatever it took, whatever the problem, they would protect their women.

  Jemma turned towards their table and crooked a finger and Cash chuckled. He was on his feet almost instantly. There wasn’t even time for his brothers to make a joke about him being whipped he was gone so fast.

  Colt chuckled, “I never thought I’d see him this happy, not after Jemma left town when we were kids.”

  “I wish I’d seen them together back then... maybe if I’d been here he wouldn’t have thought he had to drive her away.”

  “Nah, you can’t think like that.” Colt shook off the comment easily, “They found their way back to each other. That’s what matters. They were meant to be and they found a way to overcome their bullshit. When it’s real, that’s what you do.”

  Remy almost made a smart remark about Colt waxing poetic when just months ago he hadn’t even been able to admit he wanted Skylar let alone that he loved her, but he didn’t. Because Colt was right. They all had their issues, their scars, even the girls, but loving each other and being together made them strong enough to overcome the demons.

  Wasn’t that what he’d done with Rachel? He’d revealed all of his secrets to her. He’d told her everything that he’d thought could drive her away. He wanted her to do the same, to tell him whatever it was she was holding back, and let him fight her demons with her. He thought that together they could overcome anything.

  “Mind if I sit?” A rough voice spoke and he and Colt both looked up in time to watch Ford drop into the chair Cash had vacated.

  “Hey. Thanks for coming.” Colt nodded to him, “It means a lot to Cash to have the family here supporting him.”

  “Nice to be invited. Been a long while since we had anything worth celebrating.” Ford fingered his beard and frowned, “None of Abel’s boys made it?”

  “Nah, Noah said he was busy and Abel… he said it was too soon. None of them wanted the reminder.”

  Ford nodded and the three of them fell silent as they thought about the last time there was supposed to be a wedding in the family. Joel, the second oldest of the Bible Bomar clan, had been engaged a few years ago. He’d been just a few short weeks from walking down the aisle with his high school sweetheart, Nessa. Then he’d had an accident, wrecked his car, and all of those plans had been abandoned for a funeral instead. Remy hadn’t been in Old Settlers at the time but he’d heard the devastating news from Lincoln.

  It had been about five years since they put Joel in the ground but the Bible Bomars were still mourning. Abel was as angry as ever, blaming everyone and everything for what had happened to his beloved second in command. Noah had stepped up to take Joel’s place in the family, in the organization, and had been struggling to be his own man ever since. Silas had gone to prison not long after and Levi had been in and out of jail and rehab. Only Daniel, the baby of the family, had seemed to come out of the last five years unscathed but he was still so young, bare
ly seventeen, that everyone was hoping he would escape the Bomar curse and make something of himself.

  Five years since Nessa gave birth to Micah. Five years since the next generation of Bomars had been born. Five years without anything good happening to them until Jemma had come running home to Cash. Now they were married and in a few more months, Micah would have a cousin to play with. More Bomars, something that Remy would’ve thought of as a bad thing before he met Nessa and Jemma and Skylar and his Rachel.

  Now… now he knew that the next generation of Bomars would be nothing like his or the one before them. Because these women were nothing like the ones that had come before them. They were strong and independent. They were feisty and demanding. They didn’t take shit off anyone and they would raise good boys who would turn into good men.

  For the first time in a long time, the Bomars future looked bright.

  “Think I’m gonna go dance with my girl before she does something that’ll get her in trouble.” Colt smirked when Skylar shimmied against Bentley, who she’d begun dancing with as a new song blasted over the speakers, “See you guys later.”

  Remy nodded and watched his little brother stride confidently to the middle of the floor and jerk the blonde away from their cousin. Skylar immediately molded her back to Colt’s front and did the same shimmy she’d been giving Bentley a moment ago. Their cousin threw his hands up innocently and backed off quickly, clearly knowing what was good for him since Colt was possessive as hell when it came to Skylar.

  Ford chuckled, “Maybe the kid does have a brain after all.”

  Remy smirked, “Maybe.”

  They fell silent again as they watched their friends and family dance and mingle. Rachel had retreated from the dance floor since her friends were now dancing with their men. She was at the bar in the corner, getting a bottle of water, and he kept one eye on her, though he didn’t immediately go to her since he was hoping his usually quiet cousin had approached him in order to say something. He wasn’t disappointed when Ford eventually sighed.